The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, family and tradition. But for families caring for a loved one with dementia, this time of year can be tricky.

As caregivers try to create special moments, they often ask themselves how to modify the old traditions while keeping their loved ones safe and comfortable.

With nearly 60% of Alzheimer's and dementia caregivers rating their emotional stress as “high” or “very high” during normal days, the added pressure of holiday celebrations can feel overwhelming.

So how can you make sure the holidays are special – even when you are caring for more than just yourself?

Modifying Holiday Traditions

The key to successful holidays is often adaptation, not drastic change. Your celebrations may look different than previous years, but they can still be meaningful and fun for everyone.

Consider scaling back big gatherings to smaller, more intimate celebrations where your loved one feels most comfortable. If your family member with dementia has better days in the morning, consider having a holiday brunch instead of dinner. This simple change can avoid the confusion and agitation that can happen later in the day (sundowning).

Remember that old traditions can be modified – not eliminated. If your loved one loved holiday baking, they may still enjoy simpler tasks like mixing ingredients or decorating cookies. The goal is to keep a connection to the old traditions while keeping activities manageable and fun.

Creating a Supportive Space

A calm, familiar space is key for people with dementia, especially during the busy holiday season. Start by thinking about your decorations:

• Avoid blinking lights or big displays that can confuse
• Secure any decorations that can be tripping hazards
• Keep familiar furniture arrangements the same as much as possible
• Create quiet spaces for your loved one to retreat to if overwhelmed

Sticking to regular routines as much as possible reduces anxiety and confusion. Try to schedule holiday activities around your loved one’s usual meal and rest times and be prepared to stick to those schedules even during special events.

Helping Family and Friends Adjust

One of the most important parts of holiday planning is preparing family and friends for what to expect.

Many relatives who don’t see your loved one often may be surprised by the changes in their condition or behavior. Open communication before visits can prevent awkward moments and more positive interactions.

Consider sending a quick note or email to visitors ahead of time explaining what they might see and how they can help make the experience positive. For example:

    “Mom may not remember everyone’s name, but she still loves company and responds to warm smiles and gentle conversation. She loves holiday     music and looking at old photo albums.”

Tell visitors to approach interactions with patience and flexibility. Sometimes, the best moments come from just sitting together or doing simple activities rather than trying to have long conversations.

Caregiver Self-Care

Studies show that over one in three caregivers report their health has worsened due to caregiving responsibilities, and more than a quarter delay or neglect their own health maintenance.

As a caregiver you need to remember you can’t do everything – and that’s okay! The holidays can add to the already overwhelming demands of caregiving, so you need to prioritize your own self-care:

Set realistic expectations for yourself.

You don’t have to do every holiday tradition or attend every event. Choose what’s most important and let go of the rest – and be okay with stepping back so that you can lean in at the right time.

Accept help when offered.

If family members offer to help with holiday preparations or provide respite care, take them up on it. This is good for you but also gives others a chance to contribute to your loved one’s care.

Take breaks when you need to.

Even short periods of rest can help you recharge. Whether you accept a friend’s offer to sit with your loved one while you go shopping or arrange for professional respite care so you can attend a holiday event, these breaks are for you – so make sure to take full advantage of them!

Finding Joy in New Ways

Holidays with a loved one with dementia may not look like the holidays of the past, but they can still be beautiful and meaningful. Focus on creating moments of joy rather than trying to recreate the perfect holidays of old.

Sometimes, the most simple traditions – singing Christmas carols, looking at holiday lights, or sharing a favorite holiday treat – can be the most meaningful.

You’re not alone in this journey. Whether through support groups, professional caregivers, or elder law professionals who can help you plan for the future, there are resources available to help you through this tough time.

At our firm, we know the journey of caring for a loved one with dementia, and we’re here to help you get the resources and support you need – during the holidays and throughout the year. Contact us if you need help with legal planning, care options, or connecting with local resources.

Happy holidays from our team at KC Elder Law – may this be a safe and memorable time for you and your loved ones!

If you need guidance on legal planning, care options, or accessing local resources for dementia care, our experienced elder law team is here to help. Contact KC Elder Law today at 913-338-5713 to schedule a free consultation and learn how we can support your family's journey.